


i've had a couple lifetimes to be alone

by snorlaxx



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bakeneko, Chan is dad, Hyunho - Freeform, M/M, Minho is a cat, binsung, how do you hire a hitman? will someone arrest me if i google that?, hybrid? au, hyunjin cuddles a cat but hah! plot twist! the cat is minho, hyunjin is a freelance hitman, i know it says major character death but he's back so it's ok, i'm sorry lix bby, initially inspired from That One Scene from fskz trailer, jeongin bro wyd, jisung & changbin r so in love it's insane, lol sike there's actual death, seunglix implied, seungmin is a Swell Guy yknow, shooting practice scene woo hot, tw's
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:41:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25533019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snorlaxx/pseuds/snorlaxx
Summary: hyunjin, a freelance hitman, receives a job from a shady client that flips his life upside down. now he's in love with a snarky feline. great. things can't possibly get worse, can they? plot twist: they do.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 16
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**THE MONASTERY** had been ransacked and abandoned almost a century ago but still stood with the majestic grace of a queen. no dutiful nuns roamed its corridors, no monks sworn to silence fed fire to the dried out oil lanterns, no gods were praised and the chapel was devoid of hymns and plainsongs. it was stripped off its contents and there was truly no way to tell that the structure had once been a monastery. now, it was home to stray cats, all sorts of arachnids and the occasional nomadic drunk. it was surrounded, entangled, in legend and myth and stories sprung from the minds of mothers attempting to solemnise frisky toddlers. 

tales of barbarous serial killers, witches accompanied by their familiars; cats and toads and demons. these stories kept people at bay and so, the place remained a citadel in its own right.

that is, until, hwang hyunjin found himself peering up at the archaic building and sighing. his long, black locks were pulled back with the aid of several bobby pins and his camo duffle bag was slung across his shoulder. 

in his line of work, breaking and entering into haunted-mansion-esque buildings was a normal tuesday but that did not mean he enjoyed the task. old, locked up infrastructures were buried beneath layers of dust and grime and hyunjin wasn't particularly fond of dust clogging up his airways. but the job in question had led him here and the prospect of payment upon completion of the task took precedence over the inconveniences.

he slipped inside, nimble feet scouring the stone walls so worn with age that they provided readymade footholds. the actual building was surrounded on all sides by an overgrown lawn and hyunjin swiftly made his way through; what he needed was inside the building. 

once inside, he made a mental note to explore the place in leisure after his assignment because despite the dirt and filth, the building was quite phenomenal. the veranda was vast and an arched doorway (jammed. hyunjin spent several minutes dismantling the rusty lock) led him to a series of airy corridors and stairways that lacked banisters. he strode through passages that shepherded him to libraries with nothing but ghosts of books, and rooms manned by men-less armours. at one point, he happened upon a hall with ceiling-high stained glass windows and an unlit chandelier. the floor was a jigsaw puzzle of reds and blues and greens. if the task at hand hadn't been itching in the back of his mind, he would've liked to spend his evening there. maybe take a few pictures.

it seemed to be a labyrinthine structure, hyunjin realised as he found himself walking in circles, stumbling upon places he remembered walking by. he would've been unnerved but the occasional stray cat prowling by seemed to soothe him. there were numerous of these creatures, infesting the building almost like a plague. if plagues were soft, fluffy and liked intentionally tripping him whenever he wasn't looking. 

he glanced outside a window, the sun was dipping it's bowed head into the horizon. it was almost time. hyunjin picked up his pace, moving in the general direction of where he assumed the courtyard would be. the courtyard was an overgrown garden; wild weeds grew from cracks in the pillars and balconies flanking the rectangular space. in the smack middle of the area, a mini version of the stonehenge sat. hyunjin chose a balcony that would provide him a vantage point of the entire courtyard. 

his fingers didn't fumble; not when he unzipped his duffel bag and certainly not when he pulled out his McMillan TAC-50 sniper rifle.

he checked the magazine despite knowing it was fully loaded to about 40 to 50 rounds (definitely more than he would need). muscle memory. hyunjin crouched, concealing himself behind the latticework of the balcony and positioning his rifle in a way that would allow him to keep an eye out for his target through the scope lens without giving himself away. the rifle never shook in his hands. 

waiting was the worst part of his job. he sat, the gun balanced on his knee and hand, the other hand pulled out a letter from his duffle. hyunjin sighed, the client had been vague. the instructions annoyed hyunjin. he was expected to work with only a location and a brief description of the victim;  _ young man, bright ginger hair, uncharacteristically bright orange eyes.  _ hyunjin would have refused such an imprecise assignment had it not been for the attached cheque. an advance payment. if he did his work, another similar cheque would follow. he couldn't say no. 

at the beginning of his career, he had cared for the customers' motives and the names of his targets just so he could light a candle in their memory afterwards. a sort of tribute. now, he learnt, it was better to ignore his moral compass and not bother with names that would do nothing except visit him in dreams. haunt him. neverthless, they always found a way to him. their existence simply migrated from the physical world to hyunjin's mind. 

the last of the light was fading. hyunjin stifled a yawn. the moon kept climbing the sky, lulling hyunjin into a state of inactiveness. no ginger haired boys came strutting into his line of sight.

sometime around midnight, the wind stilled. hyunjin's honed assassinator skills picked up on this shift within a millisecond of its occurrence. almost instantly he was alert. propped up on one knee, his eyes searched the courtyard for something -  _ anything  _ \- through his rifle scope. 

nothing. 

the wind returned, carrying hyunjin's hopes with it. he was about to settle back down in his makeshift nest when a flicker of movement caught his eye. a flash of gold. a pitter patter of steps. hyunjin focused the lens. 

a boy. not the boy he was looking for but a boy, nonetheless. his blond curls bounced as he gave chase after a cat, his giggles echoed through the halls. the pair disappeared behind a broad pillar. they reappeared; boy and ... another boy? hyunjin's hand tightened around his rifle, the other boy had a mop of red hair. where was the cat? had the ginger boy been hiding behind the pillar this whole time? 

the boys seemed to be sharing a good laugh over a joke hyunjin was not in on. they stepped into the courtyard and made for the mock stonehenge. the blond haired boy plopped onto the unkempt lawn while the ginger boy made himself comfortable on one of the rocks making up the henge. hyunjin zoomed in, he needed to confirm the bright orange eyes before he pulled the trigger. the moonlight was clear. 

orange eyes, hyunjin confirmed with grim finality. his finger hovered over the trigger. and then, hyunjin felt bile rising up his throat. the boy had turned and was looking directly at him, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. his bright eyes were devoid of fear despite having seen the sleek barrel of the rifle pointed at his skull. his mouth opened; the start of a greeting, when hyunjin pressed his finger against the metal. 

the bullet was silent, bending the air around it to its will. the scream and the sickening thud were the only signs that a bullet had been shot, that a person had been killed. despite knowing what he would see, hyunjin couldn't help taking a peek at the scene unfolding below; several boys surrounded a fresh cadaver, none of them seemed the slightest bit phased. the soil absorbed the blood pooling at the base of his head with an uncanny greed, soaking the life out of him. 

hyunjin's eyes zeroed in on the dead boys' face. he felt his breath knocked out of his lungs; despite the blood and the hole in his skull, hyunjin recognised him. he was unmistakable. red hair (redder, now), unsettling yellow eyes that glowed in the dark, petite nose. he recognised him. 

his name was lee know and hyunjin was prepared to bet both his kidneys that he had killed this man before. 

hyunjin crumpled to the floor, setting aside his rifle with unsteady hands and an even unsteadier vision.  _ i've killed him before. i've killed him before. i've killed him before. i've killed him before. i've killed him before. i've killed him before. i've killed him before. i've killed him before. i've killed him before. i've killed him before. i've killed him before. i've killed him before. i've killed him before. i've killed him before. i've killed him before. i've killed him before.  _

hyunjin remembered that kill with perfect clarity. it had been his first proper jobs and he'd been a nervous wreck. the instructions were clear and straightforward; he was to kill a boy named lee know. the task had been surprising easy, in practicality, because the victim was unsuspecting of any ambushers. one shot to the heart, another to the throat just to be cautious. hyunjin had the scene imprinted under his eyelids, the spurt of blood and the way the boy had fallen like a rock in free fall. every time he closed his eyes, he saw him and every time he dreamt, he heard the name ( _ 'lee know' _ ) echo inside his mind. 

a guy remembers his first kill, always. 

but a guy is usually spared the mental toll of taking out his first kill for the second time, right? this had to be against some rule in the Handy Dandy Hitman's Handbook. 

he laid there for a long time, eyes shut, the fear of getting caught pushed to the back of his mind, trying to convince himself that this was just a cruel trick of his mind or perhaps just a very realistic nightmare. surely, reincarnating into yourself again was not a real concept. 

caught up in a roaring mental dilemma, he didn't hear the footsteps until it was too late. it was futile to reach for his rifle. he looked up and instantly recoiled, like he had been punched in the gut. his mouth hung open in disbelief. standing before him was a guy in bloodied clothes. the right hemisphere of his head was matted thick with blood, however, the originating portal of all that blood was closed. closed like it had never been blasted open. closed like hyunjin's bullet had never penetrated the flesh and cranium. closed. no wound. 

"you're supposed to be dead," hyunjin stammered, desperately attempting to become one with the wall at his back. "and you're not supposed to be here and yet," lee know gestured to hyunjin's shrivelled form with a smile that would've reminded hyunjin of a happy song under any other circumstances. 

"i've killed you before. i've killed you twice now! how are you-?" hyunjin faltered. he sounded insane. was he insane? would they put him in an asylum? would they let him play minecraft in the asylum? pressing concerns. but even more pressing was the concern that a previously dead dude was standing, very much alive, in front of him. 

"twice?" 

"don't fuck around, lee know," he hissed. lee know's demeanour immediately underwent a major change; his fists clenched and the easygoing smile was replaced with a grimace. he looked deadly, drenched in moonlight and his own blood. even his instincts didn't pick up when lee know sped towards him and pinned him to the ground. 

lee know had clasped his wrists above his head and was using his core strength and legs to keep hyunjin from squirming under him. a penknife was clutched between his teeth. one powerful head thrust and hyunjin would have a blade sticking out of his neck. "how do you know?" lee know snarled down at him, his words muffled because of the knife but hyunjin had no trouble understanding them.

"what?" hyunjin spat.

"my old name." lee know's eyes were the headlights of a truck heading straight for hyunjin. "the first time i killed you, they told me your name," hyunjin shrugged, feigning nonchalance whilst calculating how many wounds he'd suffer before he got to his rifle or the knives in his duffel. 

lee know looked taken aback and he loosened his grip on his wrists by a fraction. that concession was all hyunjin needed. he twisted his body and pushed the red haired boy to the floor. lee know was lithe and agile but hyunjin was a soldier by trade and it took him no effort to disarm him and hold his penknife to his throat. "sneaky bastard," lee know huffed indignantly but even a fool could tell, by the sudden pallor of his skin and increased pulse rate that he was panicking. 

"how are you alive? what did you mean by 'old' name? talk, because i have no qualms about killing you a third time," hyunjin pressed the pointed end of the knife to his throat and drew a thin gash of blood to embolden his threat. lee know grinned, all malice lost in a matter of nanoseconds, "this is such a sexy situation." if hyunjin had an unoccupied hand, he would've smacked lee know across the face.

"ok, ok, gosh, so uptight," lee know began, realising that the look on his captor's face was positively murderous, "i am a cat."

the laugh died in hyunjin's larynx; lee know had an honest-to-god solemn expression on his face. "and i'm the queen of england?" hyunjin's tone gave away his incredulity. 

"no, seriously, man. i'm a cat. if you get off me i could show you," lee know wiggled his eyebrows, he seemed to be at complete ease as though he wasn't lying underneath his murderer but rather, beneath a lover. hyunjin's lips curled up in a mocking smirk. he released lee know's hands and moved beside him, a leg still slung over the other boys torso. he knew he had the situation under control and a little humiliation would entertain him immensely. "show me."

hyunjin expected him to try to escape or perhaps just laugh it off, say he was joking. but no. lee know sat up and gave his shoulders an experimental roll before locking eyes with hyunjin and ... disappearing? 

the space that was only seconds ago filled by a very solid, very real boy was empty. hyunjin swivelled his head about looking for any signs of an escapee. he heard the delicate purr before he felt fuzzy paws on his leg. startled, hyunjin flew back and knocked his head into the wall. cat eyes; a sea of honey, the vertical slits almost like boats constructed from charred wood, peered up at him. in the dead of the night only the moon and the feline's eyes were luminous. he remembered how superstitious people believed that cat eyes were windows to mystical worlds. he thought the myth might have a ring of truth to it.

the cat licked its paw and hyunjin snapped out of the trance. the logical department of his brain was telling him that he'd been duped, that lee know had somehow tricked him and escaped. the jumin han from mystic messenger part of his brain, however, was screaming 'CAT BOY CAT BOY CAT BOY' over and over. jumin han emerged victorious. "er, are you lee know? can you talk?" he was voicing a child's idea of a feline (lion king will do that to any kid); a cat proficient in human speech. 

the demonic creature with charcoal fur and hypnotic eyes and a white half-moon dyed on its chest purred as if to say "i don't know bro, i'm a cat." a faint red splayed itself across the width of his face. the cat, sensing this as vulnerability, pounced on his lap and made itself comfortable on his thighs. it let out a satisfied mewl and hyunjin was, again, helpfully reminded by the jumin han living in his brain that this was a  _ boy  _ on his lap. a boy! 

he was stuck in this whirlpool of mixed thoughts when a sharp stabbing pain travelled up his arm. hyunjin winced and found the cat's claws wet with blood. if cats could smirk, this one would be smirking. then, lee know was sitting beside him and he  _ was  _ smirking. “that,” he gestured to the claw marks, “was payback for the unflattering neck scar you gave me.”

"you ... you were a cat," it was a statement but it came out sounding like a question.

"acute observation! i see the hitman criteria does not include a functional brain," lee know drawled in an utterly unhinged way. hyunjin would've glared had he not been so disconcerted. "by the way, i shed my old name. i go by lee minho now." he stood up. hyunjin's legs wouldn't cooperate likewise. "and my feline alter ego likes to be called lili. pretty, right?" lee know - or, well, minho - winked and turned to walk away. hyunjin desperately wanted to follow and ask a million questions. he couldn't. 

minho raised a hand in lazy farewell before eclipsing into the shadows. 


	2. Chapter 2

**HYUNJIN'S NECK** was stiff from spending the night and the majority of the next day on the cold, hard floor. he propped himself up, his throat was parched and his stomach burned with acid but none of that was as discomforting as the events of last night playing like a movie in his head. this movie, hyunjin fumed, deserved to go straight to dvd. 

for a moment he considered building a fortress around this memory, forgetting all about it and moving on with his life. yeah, he could do that. he could simply write an apology letter to his client, like 'sorry, i killed your guy but he came back to life before i could bring his body as proof to you. P.S he's a cat.' he could. but the cat hair on his pants (his favourite pair! fuck you, minho) made it impossible for hyunjin to just walk away. 

he needed to have a civilised conversation with lee minho. 

the sun was setting. hyunjin abandoned his weapons and went in search for the cat and perhaps some water. passing through, he recognised some of the rooms and happened upon some that were new to him. frames with no paintings, bed carcasses with no mattresses and pitchers with no water. he encountered cats lounging on almost every felinely-accessible surface but none of them were the colour of night with a white crescent on their chest. 

he ambled forwards, no destination in mind, and almost tripped. this wasn't a new experience, he'd been stumbling over mischievous cats ever since he'd gotten there. this particular cat, however, decided to torment him a little more than the usual quota. it began by trying to lick hyunjin's nose into nonexistence but soon discovered that it didn't fancy the taste and graduated to his lips. by this time, hyunjin had noticed the coal-like pelt and a waning moon on its chest. motherfucking minho. 

"dude, you're disgusting. i'm into guys, just not guys who are also cats as a side gig," he pushed the persistent cat away from his face and wiped it dry with his sleeve. the cat meowed haughtily before turning into human form.

the guy before him was not lee minho. 

"you're not my type either," he crossed his arms, his voluminous cheeks puffing up like a pufferfish. now, hyunjin realised his mistake; this guys' eyes were not bright orange, but rather a piercing grey. his hair flopped in lazy, unkempt waves over his forehead and yes, to his credit, he was cute. 

"uh, hi. i'm sorry, i confused you with someone else. i was actually looking for lee minho, do you happen to know him?"

" _ know  _ him? dude, we're like, best mates," his narrowed eyes were examining every inch of hyunjin, studying him like how a scientist inspects a culture of e.coli or how a lioness inspects a gazelle. "wait. you're the hot hitman minho told me about!" and then he was seizing hyunjin by the clawed arm and whizzing him deeper and deeper into the honeycomb-like corridors. somewhere throughout their pedestrian fast and furious adaptation the boy explained his friendship with minho and his infatuation with another boy named 'changbin' ("if you meet changbin, you have  _ got  _ to land me a date with him! he's so dense, i can use the extra help!") and mentioned his name (which was 'han jisung') as well as the in-depth meaning of it. 

han jisung was, to put it simply, loud. 

they came to a stop in front of a wooden door at the far end of a corridor lined with other, similar doors. jisung didn't bother knocking, he snatched it open and shoved hyunjin inside before following close behind. "look, minho, i found your killer!" hyunjin wondered if such a statement had ever been said with such insouciance. 

jisung plopped onto the bed next to the red haired boy. minho greeted him with a sloppy grin and sheathed the knife he had been playing with, "i see you're finally awake. how did you like spending the night on the floor?" hyunjin shrugged, too busy revisiting last nights' proceedings to properly come up with a retort. 

minho gestured to a stuffed chair tucked in a far corner of the room and hyunjin took it gratefully. 

"ladies and gentlemen, the tension in this room is astronomical," jisung whisper-yelled and was consequently escorted out of the room by minho's not-so-gentle kicks. he slammed the door in jisung’s protesting mouth.

"don’t fuck on your second night together, oh my God!" 

"go worry about fucking changbin," minho yelled in response, brandishing a shoe at the closed door lest jisung decided to open the Doors of Death again. jisung unleashed a volley of punches on the poor door and some incoherent phrases that had minho in fits before storming away to find somebody named chan and file a complaint against this quote-unquote slander. when minho turned around to face hyunjin again, his ears were burning bright red and hyunjin had the image of minho bathed in blood float through his head.

minho resumed his position on the bed, “sorry about him-”

“listen, minho, i’m a little freaked out,” hyunjin cut him off rather abruptly. the words flowed out of him like choppy river water. “so you're a cat? okay, fair. does that mean immortality? you can’t die?” 

“i  _ can _ die, hitman. i did die. you shot me in the cranium for fucks sake,” minho chuckled, like death was a hilarious outcome. 

“so what? reincarnation?” 

“reincarnation would suggest i change physical form every time i die. i don’t, so no. it’s more like the concept of zombies, if zombies are pretty and have, you know, brains,” minho finished his explanation with the philosophical authority of a thousand greek scholars, only to find hyunjin staring at him like how one tends to stare at math teachers. he sighed. “cats have nine lives. i’m living my sixth right now.” 

hyunjin sat back in his chair, trying to process all the earth-rattling bogus leaving minho’s mouth. “turn into a cat.”

“i’m not your  _ pet _ , hitman,” minho scowled.

“hwang hyunjin.”

“what?”

“my name is hyunjin. and i need you to do this. i need to see it one more time in order to really believe it,” hyunjin babbled off in one breath before topping it off with a barely audible, “please.” minho seemed to contemplate this for a moment before complying. 

the transition was over within a second and in that second hyunjin knew he believed every myth he’d read and debunked as a kid. minho’s human body retracted within an unnatural glow and a feline emerged from it. it was real. it was happening. 

“bloody mind fuck,” hyunjin caught his head in his hands, much to the amusement of the cat perched on the bed. it pranced about before stopping in front of the door and meowing like its life depended on it. “what do you want?” hyunjin whined. the cat - lili - regarded him with utmost disdain and then laid a magisterial paw on the door. the command was clear; open the fucking door, you furrless longcat. 

with a huff, hyunjin did what was asked of him. 

lili darted outside, stopping only for a brief second to beckon him onwards with its tail. rude. hyunjin followed. 

he was out of breath by the time they arrived at the courtyard. the courtyard was occupied by several other men and felines and in his panic, he didn’t realise minho had resumed human form until he walked right into him. he didn’t even mind the withering glance he received, his attention was fully focused on how he was going to approach this crowd and all the creative ways he could kill minho afterwards. 

he noticed jisung talking animatedly in the middle of the stonehenge. jisung caught sight of the duo and crowned them with an accusing finger, “...and then this bastard threw me out of the room like a ragdoll.” the blond haired boy he’d seen yesterday raised an eyebrow at minho as if to say ‘again?’ 

“well, jisung, you were making things awkward,” minho shot back.

“i was chaperoning! making things awkward is in the job description,” jisung rolled his eyes and climbed atop a rock next to a dark haired, well-built guy. hyunjin shuffled nervously behind a sauntering minho. it seemed that minho sauntered everywhere, good ol’ fashioned walking was beneath him. 

minho introduced him to the ragtag assortment of young boys who clamoured around him in excited concentric circles. 

“so you’re the big bad wolf, huh? that was a clean shot last night, i gotta hand it to you,” this was from a slender and petite boy with hair ranging between pink and purple. the downright shark-like gaze he was assessing hyunjin with was a marvelous feat and elicited an even more exquisite response. hyunjin decided he liked this guy.

“a bullet embedded in the skull is truly a delightful sight,” hyunjin countered with a crooked grin. to his relief, he grinned. 

“my name is seungmin.” hyunjin tasted that name in his mouth and wondered what the actual owner of the name might taste like. that taste, however, soured and began tasting like cement when minho glared at him. 

the other’s introduced themselves as chan (the blondie), jisung (“duh.”), changbin, yeonjun, soobin and yeosang. 

“stay as long as you’d like, hyunjin,” chan smiled invitingly like he truly meant it. something squirmed at the base of his stomach but he gave the older boy a look of gratitude regardless. the group, then, divided into even more compact trios and duos. minho slung a careless arm around chan and the pair discussed something in hushed whispers and amused laughs. yeonjun, soobin and yeosang were playing a multiplayer online game (soobin appeared to be losing) and jisung seemed to be revelling in annoying changbin. 

that meant he was left to seungmin’s mercy (who, if he were being honest, didn’t seem like the merciful type). seungmin struck up a conversation about decomposition in corpses and asked him to narrate his experience in the matter. this struck him as an odd ice-breaker but he took it gratefully; dead bodies were his area of expertise. a macabre hobby, if you will.

"being a hitman means i don't stick around to watch bodies go through any stage of decomposition but occasionally, i check up on them after days of them remaining unfounded in their apartments or back alleys. that's always kind of sad, not having anyone give a shit about you. dead and no one knows it except your murderer and the person who ordered your slaughter," hyunjin rambled, surprised to see that seungmin was hanging onto his every word with a sultry grip.

"does that happen often? dead bodies not found for days, i mean," seungmin, whispered. he inched closer to hyunjin at a turtles' pace. 

"all the time. if the deceased is lucky, they'll find him when his body is only in rigor mortis* or a step further, in livor mortis*." an uneasy feeling enveloped him then, seungmin seemed to know all the medical and forensic terms he was using. either he was just a crime show fanatic or a sick bastard. hyunjin tensed. seungmin gestured for him to carry on, to resume their journey down the road of decay. 

"after that the body starts leaking nasty fluids and gases, byproducts of enzymatic and bacterial decomposition action. this stage of putrefaction takes a few days. the stench is fucking unbearable and the body is rendered unrecognisable. not a pretty sight," hyunjin's voice dropped into a whisper. seungmin's breaths were hot against his neck. "no i wouldn't think it would be," he murmured, hyunjin's voice hitched.

"stop messing with him, kim seungmin." minho. seungmin, startled, jumped back. the urge to kill the ginger boy was getting stronger by the second, hyunjin sulked.

seungmin shrugged, a crazed twinkle in his eye and a boyish grin gracing his face. "ignore him, hyunjin, he just likes ruining my fun," seungmin winked and walked away with the obvious intention of leaving him be with minho and possibly fuel the the heated argument between jisung and his crush. 

hyunjin turned to glare at minho. "you know what you remind me of? The White Cat," minho cut in before hyunjin could let out a string of choice cusses.

"excuse me, what?" 

"pierre bonnard, 'The White Cat' 1894," minho elaborated like it was obvious what he was talking about. it really wasn't; while hyunjin was well informed about death and decay, he was clueless about art pieces. minho studied his befuddled expression and beckoned him to follow. 

in all honesty, hyunjin was getting a little tired of being dragged and following people around.

"where are you taking me?" 

"to see The White Cat." hyunjin wondered if The White Cat was an actual cat but decided against asking, knowing he'd receive a tantalising look from him. they wound their way through corridors that were becoming familiar to him. it was a maze but there was method to its madness. 

when minho walked he made no sound. hyunjin was generally quite light on his feet, his job requiring him to sneak around a lot, but his steps were noisy compared to minho's. their gait was quite dissimilar, hyunjin was closed up, robotic. a soldier. meanwhile minho's air of confidence, his casual swinging of arms and bold steps spoke volumes. a silent tyrant. 

"you're staring," minho muttered. hyunjin immediately averted his gaze. he'd forgotten just how whetted his senses and instincts were. "i was not." 

minho's amused hum was far worse than any retort he could've come up with. 

"we're here." and so they were, indeed, somewhere. a octagonal room, every inch of every wall was covered with framed paintings. before, he'd only seen empty frames sitting forlorn in empty rooms. that wasn't the case here. 

the evening glow streamed in from tiny windows on the ceiling. dazed, hyunjin spun in a semi circle. he didn't recognise a single painting and yet, he felt himself connected to them in ways beyond spiritual. minho directed his attention towards one that looked suspiciously like what a white cat should look like. it was a distorted white cat with legs like pillars of the pantheon. 

"you could've just said i'm tall and left it at that, you know," hyunjin rolled his eyes even though he couldn't find himself being annoyed at minho. not in this place. 

"i could've," minho agreed. 

the two stood there, hyunjin inspecting every painting within sight (paying close attention to the intricacies of The White Cat) and minho staring at hyunjin like he was part of this unique collection of artwork. "you're staring," hyunjin mumbled. 

"i am not." minho's gaze did not waver. 

"what were you talking about with seungmin?" minho's extreme nonchalance gave it an unmistakable air of artificiality. hyunjin smirked, "the rotting of the body." minho gave him a long look, trying to discern if it was a lie or not. 

"seungmin was messing with both of us, actually," hyunjin laughed. minho followed, reluctant. a sense of tranquility washed over the room.

"that seungmin," minho mused, "i'm going to kill him." 

"i thought he was pretty cool," hyunjin grinned, basking in the red hot glare of minho's ember eyes. 

hyunjin spent that night in one of the many corners of the makeshift gallery. minho retired to his own room sometime around midnight, albeit reluctantly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rigor mortis occurs a few hours after death and is the stiffening of the muscles in a body.
> 
> *livor mortis is the discolouration of the body because of the accumulation of bodily fluids at body surfaces near the ground due to gravity. it starts up quite immediately after death as well. 
> 
> *The White Cat is a painting by Pierre Bonnard. it genuinely reminds me of hyunjin sfjdhf if you're curious then: [The White Cat by Pierre Bonnard is basically a longcat lmao this is real art fellas](https://twitter.com/circehjs/status/1288104752899698690?s=20)
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/circehjs)


	3. Chapter 3

**"YOU GUYS ARE A FURRY CULT,"** hyunjin mused aloud.

angry gray clouds obscured the horizon and the air was electrostatic in a way most things are prior to a foreseen storm. the absence of daylight gave the illusion of a dreary dawn and while there was no wind, the atmosphere was still frigid. all in all, it was hyunjin's favourite kind of weather. the kind of weather that reminded him he wasn't the only daguerreotype in the universe. 

minho came to a standstill, pausing his leisurely knife twirls to fix hyunjin with a horrified stare. "we are not!" 

"think about it, minho, lili is like your fursona," hyunjin teased, putting distance between himself and minho's knife. unlike the cat boy, he couldn't come back to life over and over. cons of being annoyingly a hundred percent humanl. 

"it is not!" minho looked and sounded outraged. his wild auburn tresses were a curtain veiling his transcendental eyes and over the course of the last couple days at the monastery, hyunjin was finding it increasingly difficult to suppress the urge to push the hair away and burn the sight beneath in his memory. 

they were taking a stroll in the western part of the periphery garden. the deeper they wandered, the more the grass and weeds seemed to swallow them. hyunjin entertained the idea of quicksand for a split second before minho gently pushed it aside by stabbing a tree bark with his signature knife. sometime after their scuffle on the first night, he'd retrieved it. 

"it is. you're a furry and so are all your friends and all of you ritualistically meet up at the stonehenge at odd hours. sounds like a furry cult to me," hyunjin shrugged, ambling ahead of his feisty furry friend. his back was turned and that was his first mistake. 

minho poised himself, eyes narrowed and focused, and launched his knife. hyunjin picked up on the whooshing of the deadly projectile half a second too late.

the knife rooted itself by his foot just as he swivelled towards his assailant. in his panic, his foot caught on the knife and the slight imbalance was all it took to tip him off his axis. hyunjin landed on his back and groaned. the impact had rattled him physically but the sound of minho's uncontrolled, delighted laughter was earth shattering. 

"what the fuck, dude?!" hyunjin pushed himself upright, glaring at minho's doubled-over form.

"you should've seen your face," minho managed between bubbling laughter. hyunjin fought the invisible force tugging his lips into an upward curvature, looking back he hadn't really seen or heard minho laugh so freely. he was always either smirking or glaring and he only ever seemed to laugh lightly when jisung and changbin did something stupid or when chan whispered something in his ear. but never like this. 

hyunjin liked the tinkling of his laugh, the all-consuming nature of it and decided he wanted to hear it more often. 

"bring me my guns and i'll teach you how to properly aim," hyunjin picked himself up.

"oh, sweetheart, if i wanted to aim for your heart, i assure you, i would not have missed." minho probably meant it literally; the actual organ, but the heat rising up his neck told his outer body what his inner, subdued self was concocting. hyunjin needed to have a serious meeting with his hormones and subconscious and tell them off for acting up.

thankfully, minho didn't seem to notice anything off. he was too preoccupied with the idea that had come to him, struck like a lightning bolt from the heavens, "hwang, what if you taught me how to shoot?" 

now, hyunjin wasn't big on the law and the proper paperwork needed to handle a gun (his own firearm was an unregistered beauty) but he sure as shit did not fancy presenting a deadly feline with a loaded weapon on a silver platter. but minho’s hopeful expression braided his intestines into an elaborate french plait and he found himself nodding. this was his second mistake.

minho went to fetch the abandoned duffel, being the faster one of the duo and considerate enough to allow hyunjin a few moments of solitude so he could berate himself for his poor decisions. he was a D minus student in the classroom of life. 

he dislodged minho's knife from where it lay planted in the loam. the metallic blade was sharp around the edges but the point was rather blunt. minho had to be a bloody good thrower to stick that end anywhere. which he was, hyunjin pondered, considering how easily he'd been stabbing trees and tripping him. minho was good with his dagger and he knew it. it was apparent in the way the blade was spotless and shiny like a snakes' eye. it was obvious in the way the hilt was varnished and glistened like obsidian. 

the metal hummed in his palm and he wondered if it was because of some form of mystical feline enchantment or the charged environment inducing a positive charge on the blade, using his body as an outlet for electrons. 

"sweet knife, right? chan gave it to me when i first got here." hyunjin hadn't heard him creep up behind him with a bag full of weapons in tow. he never did. minho dumped the unzipped bag unceremoniously and kicked it in hyunjin’s direction. a sleek black rifle tumbled out, its business end aimed north like a bandit at sea. 

“chan and you are pretty close, i reckon.” hyunjin bent over and grabbed his gun. it felt nice to be holding it again, its familiar crooks and nooks and girth and many, many modifications he’d made to it over the course of the years. it balanced him against the thunderous intent of the sky and the crooked leer of his companion. 

“chan and i,” minho mulled the prospect over, “we dated. but we decided we worked better as friends - with occasional benefits - and tore off that label. now, are you going to teach me or what?” he added. 

somewhere overhead, thunder rumbled. the sky was preparing to heave its burden.

hyunjin gestured for him to stay put and graduated into a practiced but laid-back stance of a professional marksman. his cheek rested comfortably against the side of the cool metal, his eye levelled with the scope showing an ancient oak tree some eighty five meters away. without a second thought, he pulled the trigger. 

the lead projectile homed in on the bark of the tree. 

“bullseye,” hyunjin grinned. minho gazed at the crater in the smack middle of the tree, awe visible on his face for only a breif moment before it morphed into  _ want.  _ hot desire ignited in him as he advanced towards hyunjin. or, well, more specifically, towards the firearm. 

“my turn.”

amused, hyunjin handed it over, muttering precautions and threats in case minho tried anything funny. minho’s position was weak and loose. he wasn’t used to the weight of the gun. his hands fumbled. he thought too much and too hard. his shot was doomed to failure. 

he stumbled backwards and dropped the gun. a flash of pain travelled up his arm to his shoulder. the bullet flew in an arbitrary direction, at a forty five degree angel as opposed to the ninety degree angel he was going for. it peirced open the belly of an innocent bush. despite the suppressor silencing the bullet, his ears rang with discord. 

“bloody hell.”

hyunjin, however, remained unphased, “you could’ve dislocated your shoulder.” minho turned an accusatory stare at him.

“gee, thanks for telling me,” minho’s tone dripped with poisonous sarcasm.

“you were so eager, i couldn’t bring myself to,” hyunjin countered sweetly. he then stalked over to the red head and pulled him to his feet. he went around behind him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“what do you think you’re doing?” minho hissed. Hyunjin pressed close and thrust the gun back into his trembling palms. “I’m teaching you how to shoot, catboy, so just keep your cool and do as i say,” hyunjin’s whisper was like ice on hot coal.

“now, relax.” minho nodded and exhaled but hyunjin could clearly see how taut his neck tendons were. Hyunjin positioned the gun in his hands as best as he could and told him the basic principle of aiming right.

“excuse me? what did you say the rule to accurate aim is?” minho turned to look him in the eye. They were at eye level with each other, even though hyunjin was undoubtedly taller. 

hyunjin hummed, “simply do not give a fuck.” minho’s expression gave away his incredulity but he swallowed it, tightened his shoulder and prepared to fire. 

“permission to shoot, sir?” minho drawled. 

the answer came in the form of hyunjin circling an arm around him, the other finding the trigger slot and brushing upon his poised finger. his lips hovered over his ear, “granted.” minho slammed down on the trigger. 

the bullet whistled in the air and landed on the bark, a little askew but there, nonetheless. everything was silent for a few darned moments, even the clouds stopped roaring breifly. 

“that was  _ wicked!”  _ minho breathed out, barely audible but hyunjin was close enough to catch it. 

“sure. but it’d be more wicked if you aimed the thing yourself.” hyunjin detached himself from minho, his words conveying no bite, no actual criticism. minho laughed, a little reckless, a little breathless. what the hell.  _ what the hell. _

hyunjin stood back, allowing minho to have another go at it. 

the sky, however, seemed to have other plans. the first raindrop fell on the bridge of hyunjin’s nose. one, two, three, four and then a thousand. The ground around them was darkening at a great speed. “sky piss,” minho grunted, shoving the rifle in the duffel and following close behind hyunjin. 

rainwater seeped into their hair and eyes and clothes and drenched them to the bone by the time they found shelter inside the labyrinthine monastery. they were laughing, stumbling over each other, tripping on slippery tiles.

“come on, hitman, this is a golden opportunity to take a shower. go on, go wild,” minho said, leaning against a pillar. his hair clung to it his forehead and looked metallically copper. a mini hellstation. 

“don’t you worry your pretty head over me, furry. i know cats don’t enjoy getting wet but hygiene is a necessity.” hyunjin ambled ahead, his feet sloshing in his boots, leaving a trail of water behind him. minho followed, with the intent of overtaking him. 

"my room," minho beckoned and despite the boundaries hyunjin had set for himself when he'd entered the killing industry, he trailed after him.

minho crashed on his bed with a sigh, wet clothes, devil smiles and all. the linen bedsheets would soon be soaked. "get up and change, lee," hyunjin busied himself with removing his jacket. minho whined before getting up, begrudgingly, and trudged to the bathroom, pausing only at the vintage closet. he threw some clothes in hyunjin's face and disappeared into the bathroom. 

hyunjin inspected the clothing; not really looking but thinking. minho seemed to like baggy clothes. flustered, he dried himself off and pulled them on. a white hoodie and pajama pants. they smelled how hyunjin had assumed minho would smell like but couldn't quite identify the aromas. 

minho crept up on him, unnoticed, and pounced. and just like their first night, hyunjin was pinned beneath the catboy. if felines have their own heaven and hell, minho would be the kitty emperor of hell. 

"what the fuck, minho," hyunjin spluttered. 

"shut up." minho wasn't the world's greatest marksman but his bullet had definitely hit something vital in hyunjin's mental anatomy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh hi. tw // graphic depictions of death in the last two lines. be careful :<
> 
> i didn't want to spoil you like this but /: i don't want to trigger anyone /:

**HYUNJIN AWOKE TO** the clamouring rumble of a thunderclap overhead. he groaned and pushed minho's arm off his face which was attempting to kill him via asphyxiation. _'_ _not today, not in all your lifetimes, lee minho,'_ hyunjin mumbled, fuzzily, before burrowing into minho's side and falling back to sleep. 

☀

the sky had lightened to an electric grey, judging by the view from the roughly cut window in minho's room, when hyunjin woke up again. the bed was empty save for hyunjin's aching body (the rainwater had taken it's toll) and the blanket he was wrapped in. the sheets were haphazard enough to expose a bit of the mattress and the pillows were tossed on the floor. and minho wasn't beside him.

something like the thought of hope flickered and snuffed itself out within him. 

he struggled out of bed briefly enough to retrieve his phone from his discarded and still damp jeans and busied himself with trying to get the stupid thing to work. it sputtered to life, as though mad at hyunjin for neglecting it so long. hyunjin had barely turned the data on when he was bombarded by tons of notifications; most by his socials and a disturbing few from his colleague and longtime friend.

yang jeongin didn't believe in modern methods of communication. 

hyunjin worried his lower lip as he progressed through the incoherent text messages. jeongin, as aforementioned, wasn't keen on technology and so, his texts sounded like the drunken slurs of a bitter old man morphed into a gangly preteen who'd just discovered swear words. lots of 'fucks' and not enough punctuation. 

his eyes widened impossibly as he neared the end of the messages. 

hyunjin stumbled out of bed, pulled on a cardigan, some shoes and bolted outside. he needed to find minho. 

he thought of texting jeongin back, explaining things as best as he could without giving out minho's furry little secret but decided against it. like all _professional_ killers for hire, jeongin's phone would likely remain turned off and untouched until he was through with his work. 

his feet dragged him every which way. every time his eye caught on to anything vaguely bronze, he'd stop and backtrack, only to find furniture or remnants of armour. a strange sense of unease enveloped him; not only could he not find minho, but the rest of his cohort was nowhere to be seen either. no cats had the moon emblem across their pelts. did everyone just up and leave?

"hyunjin?" 

hyunjin's heart stopped beating, which was a welcome change from before when it was jackhammering against his ribcage. he swivelled around on the balls of his feet, nearly squealing with joy at the sight of the boy. 

"seungmin, thank fuck you're here!" seungmin's eyes crinkled at the edges, the ghost of an amused smile. his purple hair cast enticing shadows on his face and hyunjin felt his throat dry up. amazing how it takes one attractive guy for the salivary glands to cease existing. biology is fascinating.

"what's up? you seem ... troubled?" seungmin shifted the thick as a brick book to his left hand. the cover had a flattering illustration of the human brain and suddenly all that talk about death and decay on their previous meeting made sense. hyunjin smiled, despite himself. 

"oh? oh yeah. d'you know where minho is? it's kind of important," hyunjin mumbled, his voice growing meek with every syllable. seungmin had noticed the clothes, the messy bedhead and was grinning in glee. the implications were scandalous. 

"uh," seungmin started, doing his best to hide the teasing smirk which did nothing but fuel hyunjin's red hot blush, "him and changbin; they went out to do something. they left at dawn, so they should be back in an hour or something. i don't know, i'm just guessing." he shrugged. hyunjin nodded but the knot in his stomach tightened. when did jeongin say he would be getting here? tonight? fuck. 

" ... they'll come to chan first."

hyunjin snapped back into reality and gave seungmin an apologetic look, "sorry, i zoned out for a bit. what were you saying?" 

"was last night _that_ good? wow," seungmin speculated, adjusting his glasses with an artistic flick of a finger. hyunjin felt the heat rising to his ears and - jeongin momentarily forgotten - frantically denied all such conjecture. nothing had happened. _nothing had happened._ no, something had definitely happened but only hyunjin privy to that information.

"sure, hyunjin, i believe you," seungmin's eyes glinted like an eager knife, "and i was _saying,_ if you wanna see minho as fast as possible, go to chan." hyunjin nodded dumbly before realising he had no idea where the undisputed leader of the clowder would be. his petite companion simply laughed, "come, i'll take you."

hyunjin followed, gratefully. if, in another world, he hadn't killed minho and hadn't loitered about with him aimlessly and hadn't taught him how to hold a gun and hadn't felt so drawn to him, hyunjin thought, seungmin would be an easy choice. in this world, where he was a killer and seungmin was a bright kid with a promising future, they didn't mix. 

"chan?" seungmin asked. chan had an ear pressed against a phone and worry lines visible all over his face. he turned at the voice and tried to give a reassuring smile to seungmin but the way the smile didn't reach his eyes said that something was not okay. if that wasn't enough, jisung's agitated form screamed worry. 

"what's wrong, chan?" seungmin questioned again, his voice lowering to match the gloomy mood, "jisung?" 

jisung simply choked out a wrangled sob and shook his head. 

seungmin crouched and allowed jisung to melt into his arms and hyunjin stood there, uselessly, trying to decipher what the phone call was about. deep down he knew it had something to do with minho and changbin but he couldn't bring himself to articulate that. 

after a few excruciatingly long minutes, chan lowered the phone. he cleared his throat, "no sign of them. jeep's engine stone cold, from what soobin tells me. they've been in there for roughly five hours." jisung gasped a _five?!_ and seungmin cursed under his breath. 

"five hours in where?" hyunjin piped up, confused and getting increasingly worried. chan considered - studied, analysed - him for a moment, "how good are you with stealthy rescue missions, hwang hyunjin?"

"probably shit. never done 'em before."

"i'm counting on that." 

☀

in the beat up cherokee, chan explained the situation to hyunjin and choi yeonjun (jisung and seungmin had wanted to come along but chan firmly shot down their pleas. which was just as well because jisung was emotionally wrecked and seungmin wasn't any good in physical or artillery combat). minho and changbin were out scouting 'enemy' territory and had, somehow, been caught. 

"i sent soobin to check up on them because scouting doesn't take that fucking long. he got there and only found the jeep," chan muttered, both hands gripping the steering wheel, eyes never leaving the road. "also." chan's jaw clenched, "there were no signs of struggle. no flattened grass, no indication of resistance."

yeonjun sat up straighter, "you don't think-?" 

"that's exactly what i think, jun." chan smacked the steering wheel and hissed. the air in the car was suffocating. yeonjun retreated to the comforts of a backrest and thrummed his fingers methodically on the ejection port of his handgun. when hyunjin had asked them where they'd gotten the guns they simply shared a smile and asked him where he'd gotten his. hyunjin understood, being in such a ruthless industry meant you had to learn how to read between the lines pretty quickly or else it was your funeral. he didn't press them further. this was just one more thing he wasn't in on. 

chan mounted the car onto a dirt path with brambles and rundown, heavily vandalised houses flanking the sides. they kept going until chan decided they'd better ditch the car and walk on foot the rest of the way. thankfully, minho and changbin's discarded jeep was only a little way off. they regrouped with soobin and talked strategy until the house they were looking for was only a few yards away.

right off the bat, hyunjin could sense a strange aura coming from it, heightened only by perhaps the stark contrast between this particular house and the rest in the same lane. where all the other abodes looked battered and unlived in for years, this one looked like a freshly constructed villa. no rowdy teens had managed to defile it with spray paint.

yeonjun produced a bottle of petrol from god-knows-where. hyunjin stared, "you were carrying that all along? you could've emptied one of the fuel tanks in the jeep."

"the jeep runs on diesel and diesel," yeonjun looked appreciatively at his bottled fire juice, "don't catch that easy." oh.

chan grinned, "let's go get those fuckers." a small cheer went up in their four-person group until soobin told them to keep it down unless they wanted that gasoline to be used for their untimely cremation. they effect was immediate; smiles morphed into determined glares.

they went single-file up to the fence (chan at the front and hyunjin bringing up the rear) and climbed over as discreetly as they could. soobin had managed to find loopholes in the cctv camera system the "old bastard" had installed around his property. how he'd done it was beyond hyunjin but he appreciated soobin's hard work. 

hyunjin kept watch as chan slipped behind a back wall where the security was lax save for two cameras and where they could peek inside the basement. 

"why the basement?" hyunjin had asked when they were still strategising. 

"it's minho's word. the basement is where ..." chan trailed off and when hyunjin insisted he complete the sentence, chan just shook his head, his eyes glossed over. as though looking at some faraway place. 

chan worked to disable the cameras as hyunjin thought about ways to ruin the perfect, saintly white walls. they bothered him. 

"done." 

hyunjin slipped in after them and beckoned to soobin and yeonjun to follow. 

"lighter?" chan breathed. hyunjin wordlessly took one out of his jacket pocket and chan nodded. he needed the assurance unlike hyunjin, who'd been in many situations like these. the adrenaline became second nature after a while. 

yeonjun stood guard while the other three crouched to get on eye-level with the basement windows. they were barred and their only purpose seemed to be to offer a memory of sunlight. it took a while for hyunjin's eyes to adjust and what he saw knocked the wind out of him. 

there, in the middle of what looked scarily like a jail cell, changbin lay. a messy gut stab wound was the source of all the blood. that was the only colour in that colourless basement. a strangled gasp escaped chan as he saw what hyunjin had only now noticed. a blur of movement, a lunge, a deflection. colour. 

minho's auburn hair. 

before hyunjin could get out a _what the fuck is he doing?!_ the hammer impacted with minho's head. his body went limp almost instantly. 

hyunjin's world went out of focus. 

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: @circehjs


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